Audrey Hale Left a Suicide Note for Her Family (Plus 'White Nothingness')

AP Photo/John Amis

Last week the Tennessee Star received around 80 pages of documents written by Audrey Hale, the trans shooter who killed 6 people including three children at a Nashville private school last year. The paper has been slowly going through the material and adding new stories about it every day since. Today they have a story about her suicide note.

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Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) investigators found the note posted to Hale’s bedroom wall, which The Star has learned was adorned with childhood memorabilia and photos.

Addressed to her parents, Hale also mentioned her brother Scott in the two-paragraph note.

“If I don’t survive my massacre, I want my room to be left exactly as it is left,” Hale began her note. She instructed her mother and father, “I don’t want any of my possessions down in that dingy basement.”

The note concluded, "I’m sorry, but it is my time to go… I love you, Aiden." 

There are several more stories published over the weekend including one about Hale's hatred for her father.

Titled “Dad problems,” Audrey Hale complained in the journal entry, “I hate when my dad loves on the cats; not me. F*****! He never once loved on me for years, maybe like ever (as a child; maybe).”

She wrote, “I hate his old cranky-man existance [sic], all cranky good-for-nothing mentally ill men should die.”

Audrey Hale additionally complained her father had a “negative” outlook, then in capital letters wrote, “Well guess what? Your [sic] a loser. I hate your (life, you). I don’t care if you die. I want to kill you.”

She also wrote about wanting to put her father out of his misery. Apparently Hale made videos in which she would leave her room and sneak up behind her father and act as if she were going to harm to him and then slip away. According to an interview with an investigator, she also wrote about returning home after the attack on the school to kill her father.

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Hale had been treated for various mental health issues since she was a young child. At one point she was referred to a hospital after expressing some violent fantasies. It's not clear what those were but it seems possible they could have been about her father. So far  Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC) has refused to say anything about her treatment there including whether or not she sought out gender-affirming care.

VUMC communications staff did not respond to a comment request from The Star that sought to establish whether Hale informed her psychiatrist or therapist that she desired to transition from her biological female gender to become a transgender man.

The hospital likewise did not respond when asked if it acted based on a request for transgender healthcare by Hale.

The Star additionally asked the Program for LGBT Health at VUMC whether Hale ever attempted to make an appointment or otherwise seek treatment for gender affirming services or other LGBTQ specific care, but did not receive a response prior to press time.

Finally, there's one more story which suggests Hale was also unhappy with her race as well as her sex. She described her life as "white nothingness."

Hale created a flow chart that used arrows to connect the word “brain” to the concepts of white privilege and embarrassment. She additionally drew a series of arrows identifying herself as “no one.”...

“No one, I mean no one will think my life meant something after I die.” Hale wrote, “None of this s*** will matter to them once I’m dead.”...

In all capital letters, she signed the entry “White Nothingness,” followed by the name Aiden. Born a biological woman, Hale began using the name Aiden after identifying as a transgender male...

“No brown girls, no love,” wrote Hale. She then drew a picture of a broken heart, and wrote, “I am nothing. Brown love is the most beautiful kind.”

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Hale was apparently infatuated with a girl named Sidney Sims who died in a car accident in 2022. Elsewhere in the journal, Hale wrote about reuniting with Sims after death.

Clearly, Hale had absorbed a lot of messages about race and gender from outside sources, all of which seemed to make her miserable and convinced her own death was the only solution.

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