Bill de Blasio and his wife are separating (but not really) and the NY Times has all the details

AP Photo/Craig Ruttle, File

I saw this story earlier today and my first thought was something along the lines of ‘I don’t care.’ Just generally, I’m not a big fan of kicking people when they are down or trying to get satisfaction from their personal failures. I probably would have stuck with that except, well, the details of this are a bit different from the headline. Turns out the mayor and his wife aren’t divorcing and aren’t even separating in the usual sense of the word.

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Mr. de Blasio and Ms. McCray are separating.

They are not planning to divorce, they said, but will date other people. They will continue to share the Park Slope townhouse where they raised their two children, now in their 20s — the vinyl-sided hub of a thoroughly modern political family whose mixed-race symbolism helped send a spindly progressive long shot to City Hall.

For his part, DeBlasio admits he always wondered if it could last given that his wife had once announced she was a lesbian.

“For the guy who took the chance on a woman who was an out lesbian and wrote an article called ‘I Am a Lesbian,’” Mr. de Blasio said, “there was a part of me that would at times say, ‘Hmmm, is this like a time bomb ticking? Is this something that you’re going to regret later on?’ So I always lived with that stuff.”

So the current plan is for both of them to start dating other people while living in the same house.

Asked what she was seeking from this new formulation, she suggested that she might enjoy the non-glow of being with a non-public figure.

“I just want to have fun,” she said, adding, as Mr. de Blasio turned to her, “It’s not that we haven’t had fun.”…

Ms. McCray asked dryly if their phone numbers could be included in the newspaper.

“Can I put a picture from the gym in there?” Mr. de Blasio asked. (He added that he was “not a believer” in online dating.)

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I never root for anyone’s marriage/relationship to fail, including Bill DeBlasio’s, but I do think whatever this thing is that they are doing will fail. One or both of them is going to decide living with your ex while moving on with other people is not as great as it sounds (and it sounds awful). But since they’ve decided to announce all of this via the NY Times, I guess we’re all invited along on this journey of self-discovery. The comments do not disappoint. Here’s the top comment in its entirety.

Why do we need to even know this?

A fair question. Why does the former mayor and his wife feel the need to make this part of their life a NY Times profile? The 2nd most upvoted comment is more blunt:

Absolutely bizarre, surreal, weird. What is with our postmodern need to feel our feelings and confess them for all to see and hear? Why do we I insist on drying our laundry in in public? His assertions to the contrary, I bet Deblasio is keeping his options open for another run for office, but who knows. We have lost the sanctity of our private selves.

Next up is another good point. Apart from dating app hook ups, who would want to become part of this weird scene?

Who would want to go out with someone married, living with their spouse, with no plans to divorce?

You’d get to be a permanent person on the side so they can “have fun.” Yipee

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Has the Times set a record with this?

This may be the most cringeworthy article I have ever read in these pages. Why Bill de Blasio would want to shine a spotlight on his sordid private life is beyond me. And yes, remaining married and living in the same house while dating other people is sordid.

Anyway, I hope the Times doesn’t let us down by dropping the coverage at the starting line. Give them a few months and then do a follow up interviewing some of their Tinder dates. Bonus points for quotes from one spouse about what they think of the other spouse’s dates.

We totally need to know this stuff, don’t we?

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