Fyre Festival: Luxury music festival turns into chaos

How sorry can you really feel for wealthy jet-setters willing to pay $12,000 to see Blink-182 perform on an exclusive island in the Bahamas? You might be thinking: Not very sorry at all. Yes, but this is like one of those stories where the villain gets treated so badly you start to root for him. First, here’s what the suckers attendees were promised:

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So, basically an appeal to rich, beautiful people to join other rich beautiful people in a beautiful location with lots of bikini-clad babes eager to spend time swimming in paradise. Oh, and there will also be some music.

Nearly all of the marketing lines for this thing (“On the boundaries of the impossible”) now have a new meaning after the festival turned into a complete disaster in which people were desperate to leave but unable to do so. From the New York Post:

When attendees arrived after paying up to $12,000 per ticket, they were greeted with chaos: disaster-relief-like tents, aggressive security, scant electricity and water, and — worst of all — overpriced cocktails in plastic cups.

Some unverified reports on the festival’s subreddit claimed there were sounds of gunfire, bar raids and feral dogs near the site.

The festival was also slated to include swanky perks like massages, sunrise yoga and guided meditation. Instead, guests arrived to garbage-strewn grounds and lunches of Styrofoam-boxed cheese sandwiches.

I don’t know about the gunfire and feral dogs but the rest of it seems to be true based on twitter reporting from people who attended:

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Well, at least you can get a drink and relax, right? Nope.

As for the food, well…

Honestly, I’ve been to summer camps with better kitchens than this:

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Here’s some insight into the organization. Looks like this was worked out by a not-very-experienced college student:

When the young, wealthy and now disappointed attendees tried to flee the disaster, things only got worse:

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Eventually, they did get back on the plane:

And then got off again:

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They did eventually make it back on the plane and fly to Miami. And since it seems no one was permanently hurt in all of this we can laugh. But you do get the impression that had this gone on another 12 hours some of these people would be dancing around a pig’s head on a stick.

Meanwhile, Blink-182 canceled their appearance and the organizers have promised to refund the money of those who had tickets:

Due to circumstances beyond our control, and in line with a culture of safety, all inbound charter flights to the Exumas have been canceled. Your ticket and any funds uploaded to your RFID band will be refunded.

Thank you for bearing with us as we work through the growing pains that every first year event experiences. Revised itinerary information will be shared soon for the remainder of this weekend and weekend two.

I love the assumption, even now, that this is just a minor hiccup in the grand plan. The same organizers who orchestrated this masterpiece will simply revise the itinerary (in a new notebook) and everything will be fine by next weekend. Honestly, anyone who shows up next weekend has probably already given all their money to the spouse of a Nigerian official who just needs a little cash to pay the taxes on their massive fortune.

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Final note, Kendall Jenner was scheduled to be part of this event. So add this to the Pepsi ad disaster and her celebrity stock must be taking a beating right now.

 

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