How sorry can you really feel for wealthy jet-setters willing to pay $12,000 to see Blink-182 perform on an exclusive island in the Bahamas? You might be thinking: Not very sorry at all. Yes, but this is like one of those stories where the villain gets treated so badly you start to root for him. First, here’s what the suckers attendees were promised:
So, basically an appeal to rich, beautiful people to join other rich beautiful people in a beautiful location with lots of bikini-clad babes eager to spend time swimming in paradise. Oh, and there will also be some music.
Nearly all of the marketing lines for this thing (“On the boundaries of the impossible”) now have a new meaning after the festival turned into a complete disaster in which people were desperate to leave but unable to do so. From the New York Post:
When attendees arrived after paying up to $12,000 per ticket, they were greeted with chaos: disaster-relief-like tents, aggressive security, scant electricity and water, and — worst of all — overpriced cocktails in plastic cups.
Some unverified reports on the festival’s subreddit claimed there were sounds of gunfire, bar raids and feral dogs near the site.
The festival was also slated to include swanky perks like massages, sunrise yoga and guided meditation. Instead, guests arrived to garbage-strewn grounds and lunches of Styrofoam-boxed cheese sandwiches.
I don’t know about the gunfire and feral dogs but the rest of it seems to be true based on twitter reporting from people who attended:
So Fyre Fest is a complete disaster. Mass chaos. No organization. No one knows where to go. There are no villas, just a disaster tent city. pic.twitter.com/1lSWtnk7cA
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 27, 2017
This is how Fyre Fest handles luggage. Just drop it out of a shipping container. At night. With no lights. #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/X5CdZRyJWo
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Well, at least you can get a drink and relax, right? Nope.
Fyre Fest doesn't have beer. They "ordered it late" but they assured us it will be here tomorrow. #fyrefestival
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
These are the secure lockers at Fyre Fest. They forgot to tell us we needed locks. #fyrefestival #fyrefest pic.twitter.com/Tqyjqbg2Gy
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
As for the food, well…
Here's the "culinary experience" we got for our artists pass at Fyre Festival. pic.twitter.com/Kk9q9uvkX0
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Honestly, I’ve been to summer camps with better kitchens than this:
One of the kitchens at Fyre Festival. #fyre #fyrefest #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/gQIpwxrw6S
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Luxury dining on luxury boxed meals at luxury Fyre Fest. #fyrefestival #fyre #luxury pic.twitter.com/UPJw1s1yzf
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Luxury trash receptacles at the luxury bar (with no beer). No shoes, no shirt, pajama pants, no problem. #fyrefestival #fyre pic.twitter.com/PojJtfHlqL
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Here’s some insight into the organization. Looks like this was worked out by a not-very-experienced college student:
Also, we found a notebook from one of the Fyre Fest planners on the ground. It is amazing. #fyrefestival #fyre pic.twitter.com/jFib0nO2RW
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
The Notebook: Fyre Festival edition. pic.twitter.com/gjUvDvUKhW
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
When the young, wealthy and now disappointed attendees tried to flee the disaster, things only got worse:
The line of ex Fyre Festers at the Exuma International Airport. Yes that's throw up. #fyre #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/jSZHg0F0Kn
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Just sitting on the runway while they check every single passport again. By hand. On a clipboard. #fyre #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/esp7AV9h13
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
It's 3:47 am. Been on the runway over 2 hours. We've had to ration the Chex Mix. Please send help. @Ruleyork #fyre #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/K5D1WThWhV
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
We have now gotten off the plane because they can't get the headcount and the manifest to match up. This is fine. #fyrefestival #fyre pic.twitter.com/W89nddb6Fe
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Eventually, they did get back on the plane:
Welcome to Exuma! Sunrise at Fyre Fest. Still on the same plane we've been on since 1:30 am. My stomach is eating itself. #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/dammDl4auy
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
And then got off again:
We have to get off the plane because we've been sitting on the runway too long. They have to bring in a new crew. #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/jMCRUy4PsC
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
Back in the airport. I don't know how to use words anymore. #FyreFestival #fyre pic.twitter.com/h12eVF4drm
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
They've now locked us in the airport. No rules, just right. Welcome to the Bahamas! (Tell my family I love them) #fyrefestival pic.twitter.com/KkgkroZzhc
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
A guy just passed out in the airport because it's so hot since they locked us in. The guards got into it with some guys. #fyrefestival
— William Needham Finley IV(It’s real. I made it up) (@WNFIV) April 28, 2017
They did eventually make it back on the plane and fly to Miami. And since it seems no one was permanently hurt in all of this we can laugh. But you do get the impression that had this gone on another 12 hours some of these people would be dancing around a pig’s head on a stick.
Just met this really nice guy at #fyrefestival. He said there are some accommodations on the other side of the island we can stay at. pic.twitter.com/t98fK3nmiP
— Musebug (@musebug) April 28, 2017
Meanwhile, Blink-182 canceled their appearance and the organizers have promised to refund the money of those who had tickets:
Due to circumstances beyond our control, and in line with a culture of safety, all inbound charter flights to the Exumas have been canceled. Your ticket and any funds uploaded to your RFID band will be refunded.
Thank you for bearing with us as we work through the growing pains that every first year event experiences. Revised itinerary information will be shared soon for the remainder of this weekend and weekend two.
I love the assumption, even now, that this is just a minor hiccup in the grand plan. The same organizers who orchestrated this masterpiece will simply revise the itinerary (in a new notebook) and everything will be fine by next weekend. Honestly, anyone who shows up next weekend has probably already given all their money to the spouse of a Nigerian official who just needs a little cash to pay the taxes on their massive fortune.
Final note, Kendall Jenner was scheduled to be part of this event. So add this to the Pepsi ad disaster and her celebrity stock must be taking a beating right now.
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