Sign up now for your "Undoing Whiteness" yoga class

As I’m sure most of you white people reading this already know, white people are just the worst. (#amirite?) This is a premise that’s more frequently applied to white men, but white women are pretty bad too. It’s all the entitlement. I’m sure you understand. But if you happen to be a white lady in the Seattle area, have we got a deal for you! Now you can sign up for yoga classes where another white woman will lecture you about your inherent white supremacy and conduct readings from a book about how whiteness is bad. Read on for the details and prepare to enroll. (Seattle Times)

Laura Humpf braced herself for fresh salvos of death threats, rage-soaked slurs and indictments of “reverse racism” from media provocateurs…

This spring, Humpf publicized an “Undoing Whiteness” yoga class at Rainier Beach Yoga, geared toward white people wishing to “unpack the harmful ways white supremacy is embedded” in their “body, mind and heart.” Along with providing a contemplative space, the class would dissect the “pathology of whiteness” — an obliviousness to the batch of privileges society grants white skin — and how it operates in daily life.

A certified yoga teacher since 2004, Humpf resolved to directly combat racism following high-profile cases of police officers killing or brutalizing black people.

The “Undoing Whiteness” yoga class includes readings from the book, Witnessing Whiteness. So instead of just getting in some exercise and stretching, you can spend your time (and money) being lectured by yet another white woman about the inherent evil of your race. This could only be better if they offered free chocolate chip cookie dough with a spoon at the end of the session.

I hadn’t previously heard of Ms. Humpf (actual name), but she’s been a feature in the Seattle local news for years now. She previously started up a yoga class only for women of color so they could do yoga in a safe environment. That led to complaints that she was discriminating and an investigation by the state Attorney General’s office. No charges were filed because she was only “respectfully asking” white women not to sign up rather than flatly banning them from the class.

I wonder if this new class specifically designed for white women is being publicized as “respectfully asking” women of color not to attend? I can imagine that would just go over smashingly in the social justice community. And while we’re on the subject, do any activists working on issues of race relations really think getting a bunch of white women together to sit around and discuss their inherent racism with no women of color there to provide input is a great plan?

This is reminiscent of another scheme I was reading about recently. It’s called “Race to Dinner.” If you and your other white lady friends are interested, for the price of only a few hundred dollars a pair of black women will come over and have dinner with you. Your only job is to sit there in silence and “bear witness” to the pain you have caused for “Black and Brown” women. Yum. I wonder if they’ll serve kale?

Oh, white people. When will you ever learn? Now go get your yoga pants on and sign up for the class.