If this were more of a multimedia friendly format, this post would open with the scene from Monty Python’s Life of Brian where the title character is up on the crucifix singing, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. And I’m sure we can all appreciate a bit of optimism in a frequently dangerous and disappointing world, right? That seems to be the decidedly sunny outlook of liberal activist Sally Kohn, who writes this week urging all liberal citizens to remain calm and rest assured that all is well. No matter what happens when the votes are counted next month, the Democrats are walking away winners.

The midterm elections are less than three weeks away, but by several measures, Democrats have already won.

Sure, elections are about the race to the top between competing candidates, but they’re also a barometer on long-term trends, issues and party trajectories. While the winners of this season’s sprints have yet to be determined, Democrats look well-positioned for the lengthier political marathon.

Well, that certainly sounds like a positive and constructive… wait. What?

Her first argument doesn’t exactly sound like a ringing endorsement for their candidates, but she notes that many of the races are still listed as toss-ups, which she goes on to describe (complete with a Joe Biden reference) as a BFD. Fair enough, I suppose. The Republicans should never count chickens while the eggshells are still intact, but the reading of the tea leaves isn’t looking that good for Team Kohn at the moment. But hey… the article really isn’t about the final head count in the Senate. It’s about how Democrats are winning the war of ideas.

McConnell insisted that he would repeal Obamacare “root and branch” but somehow, miraculously, keep the law’s state-based health insurance exchange… This shows that despite the lackluster rollout of the Obamacare website, voters still overwhelmingly support the particular details and programs of the law, even in places such as Kentucky…

I see. This would be the same Obamacare which Real Clear Politics polling average currently shows as having more than 50% opposition, with only 38.9% in favor, would it? Then again, perhaps this is some of that new, Common Core math I keep hearing about and I’m just not up to speed on it yet.

In 2012, it was easy to say the whole “War on Women” thing was an aberration that can be blamed on a few errant GOP candidates such as Todd Aiken. But this year, Republicans doubled down on their attacks on women’s opportunity and reproductive freedom — and the “Republican War on Women” brand will now forevermore stick.

I’d probably be more worried about that if you signature Strong Kentucky Woman wasn’t losing the female vote to one of the oldest and whitest of the old white guys on any ballot anywhere. But you keep telling yourself that if it helps you get a good night’s sleep. I saw your appearance on a CNN panel today and it looks like you could use one.

But the constantly shifting Republican shell game shows how little substantive traction conservatives have with average voters outside their highly gerrymandered House districts. Every time they open their mouths, Republican candidates show that they habitually bash President Obama to distract from the impression that they have neither the intention nor ability to help solve urgent problems facing the country.

I’ll be the first to admit that the House district maps have become, in far too many cases, a complete joke, and they need to be redrawn by a computer or something. But have we gerrymandered the states, too? (Wait… I don’t think you can actually do that.) So if you lose a majority of the statewide Senate races, does this argument go away? Or do you just move the goalposts again?

But enough from me, Sally. I don’t want to rain on your parade. It’s hard enough to get up in the morning and read the news without me intruding on your reality. You go, girl! (Wait… can we still use that phrase, or has it been outlawed on campuses yet?)