In Momo, I figure I must have a candidate, because everybody who’s coming out against her are all corrupt, and she’s an OUTSIDER. She has spent her life pursuing and eating young children, NOT as part of the swamp. With her crazed homicidal ways, Momo is going to be so disruptive, so outside the norm, that the swamp will drain because the swamp can’t stand her and how she is running things.

Nobody controls Momo—she’s beholden only to herself and even though I don’t know any of her positions on anything, she has to be better than the corrupt system we have now! Those dunces Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell never did anything—they couldn’t even trick Barack Obummer into repealing Obamacare, his signature accomplishment that bears his name!

I admit, I’m a former Obama voter who believed he was a fresh face who was going to change things. But me and the boys down at the tiny Michigan-based plastic dinosaur factory haven’t seen a wage increase in YEARS. Who knew other countries could make miniature pterodactyls? Just through fear and intimidation Momo can bring those American jobs back.