“I’m going to need more than a couple days of news coverage and some thoughts and prayers,” Capital Gazette staff writer Selene San Felice told Anderson Cooper on CNN’s AC360 on Thursday night—not long after taking cover under a desk and writing what she feared might be “goodbye” messages to her family and friends.

“Our whole lives have been shattered, and so, thank you for your prayers, but I couldn’t give a f*** about them if there’s nothing else,” she said.