But could we chat for just a moment about the governor’s utter weirdness? What was this man thinking? What was he talking about the first several minutes of the news conference, during which he regaled a watching world with his love of hiking and adventure? Get on with it, man, will you?

TMI was made for moments like this. Mark, Mark, Mark. Just say: “I had an affair; my wife has known about it for five months and we’re working on it; I paid my own way. Gotta go.”

Instead, he told us how many times they’d gotten together “during that whole sparking thing.” Thrice! Please tell me your sons weren’t watching. It all started very innocently with email, he said. It always does, pal. Then about a year ago, boom. Big Guy Upstairs nodded off and Little Friend Downstairs took over the controls.