Champagne corks are a’popping across trans-land because Queen TERF hasn’t tweeted for 15 days. Or 15 ‘blissful days’, as one especially thrilled Rowlingphobe puts it. The glee is wild. Perhaps Rowling has been hit by the ‘old Silencio spell’, they chortle. Folk haven’t been this happy to see a woman struck dumb since the mob watched those witches dangle in Salem.

Their theory is that Rowling fled X in response to Algerian boxer Imane Khelif’s ‘cyberbullying’ lawsuit. Khelif caused a stink at the Paris Olympics by fighting in the women’s category – and snatching gold – despite previously failing gender eligibility tests. In the blunt words of the president of the International Boxing Association, Khelif’s a fella. Rowling, with her quaint belief that men should not punch women in the face, or anywhere, tweeted her disapproval, Khelif fired back with the lawsuit, and now Rowling’s done a runner. Or so the woke hope.

‘Finally, someone shut JK Rowling up. Thank you, Imane Khelif’, says Egyptian-American feminist Mona Eltahawy. I hate to mansplain, but if you’re cheering on a biological male for making a woman shut her trap, maybe you’re feministing wrong?