I don’t know Butker or his intentions. I think there are a lot of ways he could have worded his commencement address better. He also definitely could have left out some of the stranger opinions—like lay people shouldn’t be worrying about theology and priests should not be friends with their parishioners. I sincerely hope, for his sake, that the more charitable reading of his speech is the right one.

But, again, I get why so many women didn’t hear it that way. Because when you are either a very online faithful Catholic woman (or a single faithful Catholic woman navigating today’s dating scene), you are routinely running up against men who are indeed sending up anti-Semitic dog whistles, throwing shade at NFP, denying the validity of the Novus Ordo, and asserting that it’s wrong for women to seek employment of any kind, inside or outside the home. Asserting these kinds of opinions is the bread and butter of both Manosphere and TradWife influencers and those who follow them—both men and women—have embraced them as Gospel truth.

So, if some Catholic women seem a little trigger happy with the outrage gun, that’s why. It’s because they can’t log on to Facebook or Twitter without seeing some Trad guy talking about the Rothschilds and the “perfidious Jews” or go on a first date without a man telling her he’s only interested in a second date so long as she has no plans to ever work outside the home (God’s calling be damned). It’s also because these women can’t scroll Instagram without encountering a blonde 20-something with one child who claims it’s a mortal sin to use Natural Family Planning or without coming across a Catholic homemaking account making reels about how pixies cut are an offense against woman’s dignity (that was Wednesday).

In small doses, this kind of stuff can seem so silly and fringe. But in online Catholic circles, it is not coming in small doses anymore.