The petite Canadian Prime Minister and global banker ordinaire is back on his nation's airwaves, in what might be interpreted as the Syrupean 'Je vous salue Marie' version of our political Hail Mary. Only the little fellow has thought to use a little literary license and weave in some...uh...oh, let's be kind about this and call them 'revised' origin stories about Canada's founding to heighten the dramatic effect.
CANADA WAS FOUNDED TO RESIST US EXPANSIONISM
Canadian PM Mark Carney:
— Clash Report (@clashreport) September 8, 2026
Canada came to life, in many ways, in response to American aggression.
Our first prime minister, Sir John A. MacDonald, recognized the threat of an expansionist United States for what it was and raced to unite this land. pic.twitter.com/RGoanwaSRo
AMERICA IS TRYING TO BREAK US SO THEY CAN OWN US
Carney: "In the spring of last year, I warned that America is trying to break us so they can own us. And I promise that that will never, ever happen. Our future won't be decided in Washington, but right across Canada." pic.twitter.com/w9nBJOvjmq
— Scott Robertson (@sarobertson_) September 8, 2026
TOGETHER WE ARE ALWAYS STRONGER - KUMBAYAH
Now, to be perfectly fair, commenters are pointing out that the revision to Canada's founding story and the sudden re-embrace of an ancestor whose name and face have been stripped unceremoniously from all things Canadian seem suspiciously timed.
The French were the original Canadians and happy as rich clams until colonial British noticed the furs and riches they were pulling out of the northern extremes of North America, triggering a nasty, lengthy conflict over who owned what. The British remained in control even as they lost the southern half of the continent to the American revolutionaries, and Canada became a refuge for loyalists fleeing the now-independent United States of America. But Canada was always held in full thrall as part of the British Empire until 1867, when it was grudgingly recognized by England as a 'dominion,' as 'fully autonomous' in 1926, and then finally loosed officially from its British leash entirely in 1982.
None of it had anything to do with us, whatever fairytale the global banker is currently spinning.
Appealing to authority with John MacDonald has its own awkward issues.
Carney rather touchingly invokes Sir John A. Macdonald as the great defender of Canada against American expansion. This is the same Canada which has removed Macdonald statues and renamed his Ottawa parkway Kichi Zībī Mīkan. Apparently Macdonald is indispensable to the story of…
— C. Sallustius (@CSallustius) September 8, 2026
...Apparently Macdonald is indispensable to the story of Canada, provided you have first removed him from Canada.
This all glosses over the fact that it's Carney's own Liberal Party which has done the yeoman's work of breaking Canada all by itself for the past decade, sans any interference whatsoever by bad orange American men.
Platitudes and pointless sophistry.
— MarcBlochRedux (@Lucreatius34) September 9, 2026
Here are the sad facts. pic.twitter.com/QDaAz4SqzI
Their record is pretty abysmally clear, and it does, when confronted with it, make one wonder how in the Sam hell the twee banker got the gig officially when he had to stand for election, even with Donald Trump's blustering from across the border.
Another comment gave me a clue.
Unfortunately boomers and low IQ midwits are gonna eat this up but for anyone paying attention they know this is a bad sign.
— Robin Skies (@iamrobinskies) September 8, 2026
If the PM needs to do a 15 minute video that misrepresents history, offers out of date data and begs Canadians to buy domestic then we’re actually in for… https://t.co/W66kACv749
...If the PM needs to do a 15 minute video that misrepresents history, offers out of date data and begs Canadians to buy domestic then we’re actually in for a VERY tough ride.
Boomers?
What on earth did they have to do with Carney, I wondered, thinking back as I did to our own November 5 miracle.
It turns out. Those blue-haired useful tools among us - we see them everywhere on the news, here, with their little protest signs - actually cost Pierre Poilievre the election. Students, young voters, and especially younger men went for the Conservatives.
You could have knocked me over with an eagle feather.
Over the past year, voters from around the world have sent a clear message to incumbent governments — they want change.
...The results point to the emergence of an anti-incumbency trend across the globe that could be underpinned by a variety of causes. High inflation? Maybe. Increased polarization? Security concerns? Perhaps.
Electorally speaking, it really doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that it’s been a rough stretch for ruling parties.
So, what happened in Canada? How did party considered by many to be long in the tooth not only win re-election, but increase both its vote share and seat count?
In a word, seniors.
The mess that Canada is in right now, according to this piece, can be laid squarely in crotchety geriatric laps, because Donald Trump upset them.
They basically fell in love with their investment banker candidate.
...Sure, we can talk about the shifting dynamics that uprooted what, before Trump’s return, had been a rather stable political landscape in Canada. Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives enjoyed a seemingly insurmountable lead in public opinion, while Justin Trudeau’s Liberal Party was floundering in the internal strife that often signals a nearing end for governments.
Then, well, you know what happened.
Trump returned with threats of tariffs that could cripple the Canadian economy, accompanied by not infrequent commentary on how both North American nations would benefit from Canada becoming the 51st state.
...A pre-election report from Abacus suggested that the Liberals had made massive gains with seniors since Trudeau’s resignation. At the end of 2024, the Conservatives were leading with seniors by nearly 20-points, while, just before the vote, the Liberals held a five-point edge.
Compared to other generations, boomers were less concerned with affordability issues in Canada and more focused on dealing with Trump’s tariff and annexation threats, which was the number one issue for older voters.
Kishchuk said this allowed Carney and co. to capitalize on his reputation as a crisis manager, having served in prominent roles during both Brexit and the 2008 financial crisis. Compared to Poilievre’s track record in Parliament, Carney’s economic background was more compelling for those who voted on the basis of who could more effectively deal with Trump, she continued.
“There was a kind of falling in love with Carney [for seniors],” Kishchuk said in an interview with iPolitics. “And a falling out of love with Poilievre, if they ever were in love.”
For his part, Carney assured the schooling blue-hairs that he was their man to handle the bloviating Trump.
From I can deal with Trump to tough times ahead. pic.twitter.com/sW4CedWo50
— Tabish Wafa (@Tabishwf) September 8, 2026
And boomers and those low-IQ midwits fell for the stinker, hook, worm, and line.
Boomers are being Carney-Val memed, and rightfully so.
Carnage Carney destroying Canada at a pace we have never seen before. And unfortuneatly he has the support of more than half of Canadians pic.twitter.com/AQe1Z9gpbs
— Shane Robertson (@DiscoShane01) September 8, 2026
The inflation rate in Canada at the moment is somewhere around 6.4%, they just lost over 41K jobs according to the last report, Sapporo Brewing has announced it's moving production to the US thanks to tariffs Carney assured Syrupeans he could avoid; and all this is happening to an economy a smaller size than that of Texas.
— Jorge Wheelock 🇺🇸🇳🇮🇲🇫 (@jorgewheelock) September 8, 2026
ELBOWS UP
Syrupeans who are not midwits have noticed there are zero particulars in any of these bracing, 'stronger together' fireside chats meant to buck up the country in the face of this looming, self-imposed disaster.
Exactly, won’t do live and answer questions.
— Jud5353 (@jud5353) September 9, 2026... reassure us that everything is going splendidly, reach back to 1890 for historical comfort, and remind Canadians to buy Canadian while asking us to embrace a costly economic "pivot"...
I don't hear reassurance. I hear a warning label.
If things were going nearly as wonderfully as we're being told, they wouldn't require a 15-minute sales presentation to convince us.
Carney isn't preparing Canadians for prosperity. He's preparing us to accept the bill.
As someone said, Carney is sitting in an empty warehouse with no one working.
What an economic death spiral looks like! pic.twitter.com/J9XNp0n7Rn
— Ja Prince 🇺🇸 (@Realjaprince) September 5, 2026
The European Union deal Carney touts but doesn't detail is a rehash of what they are already doing, just more of it.
Oh, yay.
Retard pic.twitter.com/jKp3JifLhy
— Rocky Balboa (@RockyRosario50) September 9, 2026
Mark Warner (not to be confused with our idiot Democrat senator), one of Canada's premier economists, says Carney's moves are a huge mistake.
Mark Warner, one of Canada’s best trade lawyers—and a friend—dismantles, one by one, every argument used to defend Canada’s current negotiating strategy with the United States.
— The Food Professor (@FoodProfessor) September 8, 2026
A masterclass of an interview.
Watch the whole thing. Oh, and the midterms won’t make a… pic.twitter.com/Vmwk5WwRGh
...the midterms won't make a difference.
As for boomer support, only if the pain inflicted on the rest of Canadians begins to dink their wealth management holdings will they change their tune.
Or if they start scooping seniors up for MAID eliminations.
Nah. Forget that.
Carney is going to need their votes.
They're safe for a while longer.
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