“Yeah, I feel like that was a thing,” said one local woman to reporters. “It was, like, in some sort of document they wrote that had rules in it. I’m pretty sure it said the President can’t unilaterally dictate that the nation is going to war, right? What was that rule called?”

“Ugh, I can’t remember.”

Political experts point to Article I, Section 8, Clause 11 of the U.S. Constitution, which points out that Congress alone shall have power to “declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water […]” but the writing is old fashioned and written in this weird cursive language so it’s hard to say for sure what that means. “No one can really say what they were going for when they wrote that,” said one legal expert. “I’m not sure what ‘Marque and Reprisal’ even is. Was that a spy thriller from the ’90s?”

[No, but Marque and Reprisal would be a great band name. — Ed]