rom our Bureau of Socialist Medical Quackery with some assistance from our Bureau of Dolphin Abuse

Castro Inc. has come up with yet another scam aimed at foreigners: Yes, the geniuses at the Ministry of Tourism and the Ministry of Alternative Medicine have come up with a plan to turn some hotels and resorts into centers for medical quackery. Yes, yes! Come on down, suckers, we will treat all your ailments with “ancestral energies”, as well as “oriental and western therapies” and even “therapies with dolphins,” And if you identify as LGBTIQ, there will be special resorts with specific LGBTIQ, therapies for you too.

Yes, going to a Cuban beach can heal you. These geniuses are also touting a simple stay at a beach resort as “medicinal in itself”. Perhaps they’ll get Czar Vlad to be their spokesman for the healing power of dolphins. As the image above proves, Czar Vlad gets his strength from swimming with dolphins every morning.

Will anyone fall for this? Sure, you betcha. As circus entrepreneur P. T. Barnum once said, “there’s a sucker born every minute.” Never mind the fact that Castro, Inc.’s health system has crashed. This new initiative in apartheid tourism will generate enough money to fix it. Yeah, sure.