In a traumatic upset for the sporting world, Taylor Swift has been traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the New York Jets, where she will begin dating tight end Tyler Conklin.

“We had to trade three starting players for Swift but I think it will be worth it in the end,” said GM Joe Douglas. “Maybe now everyone will start coming to our games.”

[Sure, this trade looks terrific now … but just wait until she has a season-ending injury after four plays in Denver on Sunday. — Ed]