Taylor Swift traded to the Jets

In a traumatic upset for the sporting world, Taylor Swift has been traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the New York Jets, where she will begin dating tight end Tyler Conklin.

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“We had to trade three starting players for Swift but I think it will be worth it in the end,” said GM Joe Douglas. “Maybe now everyone will start coming to our games.”

[Sure, this trade looks terrific now … but just wait until she has a season-ending injury after four plays in Denver on Sunday. — Ed]

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