Voters reached for comment were unconvinced. “That isn’t very reassuring,” said real estate agent Aaron Olla. “I really don’t feel great about supporting a party that just does really awful things in secret. Say what you want about Democrats — and they are hideous — but at least they’re open and honest about it.”

Democrats were quick to condemn Republicans over the issue. “Republicans are disgusting hypocrites,” said Senator Chuck Schumer. “As disgusting non-hypocrites, it is our duty to be as shamelessly disgusting in public as often as possible until the indecent behavior is completely normalized. It’s the decent thing to do.”

[Is this even satire? Well, I laughed, but … — Ed]