Being nice to someone means you are inoffensive to them. Being kind means you’re looking out for them. It means you’re going to tell them something that they possibly don’t want to hear. If you have a friend who is a drug abuser and you simply say, “You do you,” that may be nice, but it’s not kind.

If you have a child who regularly does bad things and you let them, that may be nice, but it’s not kind. Kindness is undergirded by a belief in some sort of higher good. Kindness means you have to use your judgment. You have to be judgmental. You have to know that not being a drug addict is actually morally preferable to being a drug addict. You have to say that certain behavior is better than other behavior. It is an act of kindness to chide your fellow man when he goes astray.

[This applies to the Christian sense of “love” as well, which too often is dumbed down to “inoffensive.” A true philos love means speaking in truth for the benefit of one’s brother; a true agape love means doing that even at the risk of damage to yourself. Lying to just make someone feel momentarily happy is neither of those. It takes courage to be kind. — Ed]