And maybe this next thought would be a feast for a therapist breaking down the “people pleaser complex” of some adult children, particularly us GenXers, but it just stings to know you’ve made an effort your whole life to be good for and to your parents, to appreciate them, forgive them, accept their shortcomings (as they hopefully accept yours) and be a person they don’t have to worry about. It’s painful that when push comes to shove, the people in the family who do the least receive the most. Even after death.

It’s not about money (not always), it is about acknowledgement.

I have experienced this in my own life (if you can’t already tell) as the “practice kid” as I like to call myself. The practice kids are the first families (GenX) of Boomers who were experimenting with turning the notions of love, children and marriage on their heads, only to realize it was an utter failure. Many of those Boomers moved on to second families, which became a kind of do-over (and that’s how we got the Millennials…thanks Boomers!). The practice kids were left to prove they were worthy of being a part of the new families. Many of us were hyper motivated to achieve, and not be seen as a burden or a drain, but as a success.

What it gets a lot of us is just more rejection.

[Estate planning and probates bring out the worst in people, even well-meaning people. People need to (a) have valid wills, (b) long-term views of how estates will fare, and (c) conversations with potential heirs to set expectations properly. As an aside, I also used read the AITI Reddit pretty constantly, but I haven’t checked it in a while now. — Ed]