What would have happened: The situation might have played out differently if the Dodgers had decided to honor a so-called gay rights group that “makes a blatant and deeply offensive mockery” of the Islamic faith.

LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Dodgers on Wednesday were permanently banned from Major League Baseball and forced to vacate all championships and other accolades after the team invited a group of anti-Islam activists to take part in Pride Night celebrations later this month.

“We emphatically condemn the former organization’s decision to foment racism and Islamophobia under the guise of celebrating our friends in the LGBTQQIP2SAA+ community,” MLB commissioner Rob Manfred said in a statement. “Effective immediately, the Los Angeles Dodgers will cease to exist in the eyes of Major League Baseball.”

Manfred continued: “Later this evening, the league will endeavor to facilitate restorative inclusion by demolishing Dodger Stadium and funding the construction of a mosque, anti-Zionist youth center, and outpatient female circumcision facility in its place. Furthermore, the league has initiated legal action to exhume the body of longtime Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda and reclaim the MLB copyrighted jersey in which he was buried.”

[I’ll take Questions That Answer Themselves for $1000, Andrew. — Ed]