But some very unfortunate things have been packed into the concept of masculinity. For example, not being open or expressive of emotions. Or the idea that you’re not a man if you “take sh*t” from anybody: That may make for great action films, but what results is a total lack of grace.

I see a lot of young men who are failing, based on a number of critical measures, including economic security, socialization and education.

As a species, humans need physical and social contact. We thrive on deep, meaningful bonds. Men who fail to attach to partners, careers, or communities often grow bitter and seek volatility and unrest. They’re more susceptible to fringe theories and they over-index on online forums filled with conspiracy theories, misogynistic content and misinformation.

What feels dangerous — and this really does fall into the notion of toxic masculinity — is this belief that if you’re a man, you can never let anyone get the better of you, that you should always stand your ground.