Passive news absorbers across the nation haven’t been able to avoid this thing they heard about some guy named Poutine, who’s, like, Russia’s Orange Man, invading Ukraine, which is, like, a peaceful society of hunter-gatherers and supermodels who live harmoniously with nature, talk to animals, and invented Democracy.
This is a super important, really bad thing. The Crane people have been forced to take up arms and defend their way of life. Now, Americans across social media are also stepping up to let you Cranes know they’re paying attention, they care, and they’re ready to strike back at the invaders.
Yellow and blue are this season’s black square. Aside from being delighted to discover the Crane people’s flag sitting right there in their emoji keyboards — and what an attractive flag it is — Americans slammed open their liquor cabinets, grabbed their iPhones, and dumped bottles of vodka with funny letters on the label down the drain.
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