You raged about what “they” did to steal the election from Donald Trump, a loop of Fox News verbigeration, as you kept looking around for someone willing to listen to your rant. You don’t believe the last election was stolen? you asked. Maybe you’re just a blowhard, but I didn’t feel safe. I also felt insulted. You wouldn’t know this, but when the polls closed at 7 p.m. and you were home eating dinner with Tucker Carlson, we were still closing up. We printed out the paper tape, a detailed audit log that’s timestamped with all actions and events that occurred throughout the day on the ballot-counting machine, including any access attempts or errors. After each of us reviewed the tape, we signed it. We counted leftover ballots, double-checked the vote count, sealed the transparent carrier bag with the USB stick, zip-tied the blue ballot box, locked and secured the machine, took down the ward maps, sample ballots, and COVID precaution instructions, then loaded everything up to take to city hall. Pass Christian uses the DS200 paper-based scanner and vote tabulator. If we ever discover that one of our machines have been hacked or a ballot has somehow been “stuffed,” I’ll eat my hat. I’ll even eat yours and Tucker’s too.