Jail still exists and Community Chest and Chance are still there. Instead of the “Get out of Jail Free” card, there’s a card that reads “Your mom posts bail. She’s the best.” And instead of committing a crime, you go to jail if you draw the card that says “You literally can’t even pay your student loan bill. Go to Jail. Go Directly to Jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $20.”

At this point, Alice asked me if Monopoly is the source of an idiom she had heard about not passing GO. She was not kidding. Her #mind was #blown.

(The meanest card in the Chance pile says “You took a trip to find yourself. You didn’t. Lose a turn.”)