But if liberal HGTV lovers are looking for a better response, they’ll find it by getting off the Progressive Expressway at Introspection Boulevard and asking themselves, “What’s more likely, that Chip and Joanna Gaines masterfully tricked me into thinking they were endearing, affectionate, loyal, and devoted people when they were actually sneering, sniveling oppression-demons, or that I was wrong to think that everyone who opposes gay marriage is a hateful bigot?”

The answer to that question should come pretty easily. With a fair amount of honesty, liberals shouldn’t have a hard time telling themselves, “It’s far more likely that the Fixer Uppers are genuinely nice folks than that the duo deliberately deceived me, in the same way that the conservative pastor in my town probably cares about people as much as his congregation’s soup kitchen indicates, and in the same way that my church-going grandmother has probably spent my entire life kissing me because she actually loves me, and not because she wants to distract me from her gay-bashing fists.

“Likewise, now that I think about it, Christians saying ‘Please don’t engage in homosexual acts’ probably isn’t indisputably hateful considering that, according to the CDC, in 2014, 83 percent of males aged 13 and over diagnosed with HIV were infected through homosexual acts. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is possible to be a decent human being and believe that homosexuality is wrong.”