What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? — A good start.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? — New Jersey got to pick first.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a tick? — Both are bloodsucking parasites, but one stops when you’re dead.
You’ve probably heard a million lawyer jokes. And of course, there’s the famous line from Shakespeare, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” (Though that line was uttered by Dick the Butcher in Henry VI, and Dick the Butcher was trying to set off a civil war and revolution, and wasn’t a good guy.)
And there’s an argument — my colleague Ben Barton has made it at book length — that lawyers and judges (who, of course, are lawyers themselves) make law unnecessarily complicated, enriching the legal profession at everyone’s expense.
But while lawyer-bashing is fun for many people, the fact is in a legalistic society such as ours, what we really need is more lawyers on the side of the good guys. Happily, there are a few out there.
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