Stop telling me I’m "beautiful." I’m ugly. It’s fine.

If you’re alive and online, you’ve seen the Dove “Real Beauty” ads, where people react to being called beautiful. They smile, break into tears and hug. These campaigns are meant to make me (and all women) feel good in their own skin. But while I love a good compliment, it doesn’t work on me.

I’m ugly, and I know it.

In case you think I’m kidding, let me make something perfectly plain: I’m not an idiot, my vision is fine. I know my thighs are too big, my face too undefined, that almost every part of me could use some work. I know that people see that. I’m not saying I don’t take pride in my appearance, but true physical beauty is a kind of social currency I cannot redeem.

This makes things harder, and not just in love and relationships. Random guys on dating apps have matched with me only to let me know how hideous I am. When I was young, I was the girl guys asked out as a joke, “She’s All That” style. More than once, a man has told me I’m “ugly as f—.”