It all comes down to the “r” word. Since the 1960s, it has become socially unacceptable to be associated with racism. We’ve defined it in such a way that practically no one self-identifies with it. We pretend that racism is about how we feel towards people of color. But that misses the point. The problem with slavery wasn’t that white people didn’t like black people. An entire system worked to benefit whites at the expense of blacks. We’re so afraid of being labeled racist that we refuse to see the systemic disparities right in front of our face.

It was ignorant, but perhaps understandable, to ask in 2014, “Don’t all lives matter?” Metaphors abound on this misdirection, like all homes being doused in water when only one in a neighborhood is aflame. By 2015, the #AllLivesMatter shtick was already old. Today, it seems like little more than willful ignorance.

We white people are going to be the last domino to fall for real change to happen. #BlackLivesMatter has already succeeded in raising awareness and organizing far beyond what anyone could have expected just four years ago. Pillars of music and entertainment have taken stands. Political officials are beginning to say the obvious. The Dallas police department itself and several black police unions have been leaders for increased transparency concerning officer-related shootings and use of force.