For argument’s sake, let’s say Trump announces that we should abolish the question mark. Gingrich will then appear on Meet the Press to defend his running mate, as any VP candidate must.

“Frankly, Chuck,” he’ll begin. (Gingrich likes to begin his sentences with “Frankly.”) And then we will get a very frank master’s course on how, frankly, in the age of emojis, the question mark is a waste of vital national resources. Moreover, he will explain, frankly, that the mainstream media’s scorn for this idea just shows how out of touch they are with the concerns of everyday Americans.

Then, on Monday, Trump will say, “Question marks? I love question marks. I meant we should abolish semicolons.” And Gingrich will be there, standing alone, atop a rhetorical cloud castle of his own devising, holding the bag.

It gets better. Gingrich suffers from an intellectual version of Trump’s political Tourette syndrome. The difference is that Gingrich can almost always offer a plausible — or seemingly plausible — defense for every crazy idea, from moon colonies and mirrors in space (to create 24 hours of electricity-free daylight) to claiming that a woman who drowned her kids proved that people needed to vote Republican.