As Trey Pearson toured all 50 states as a Christian rock star, he shared some of his truth — his faith in the Gospel — but not all of it.

Pearson never told anyone — his fans, his conservative Christian family, his wife — that he was gay. Until now.

“I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me,” the 35-year-old singer wrote in a letter to his fans that was first published by Religion News Service on Tuesday. “But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be, doesn’t constitute as the peace that passes all understanding, then I don’t know what does. It is like this weight I have been carrying my whole life has been lifted from me, and I have never felt such freedom.”