It was right around the time that news broke that certain Iowa precincts were determining which candidates were going to win delegates by virtue of a coin toss that I’d finally had enough, and decided it was time to throw the system by which Iowans determine presidential nominees into a dumpster, set if aflame, and push it out into East Okoboji Lake to disappear from our lives forever. The Iowa caucus: Let’s do it, let’s erase it from existence.

Lord knows this is only going to get a subset of Hawkeye State residents all up in my face, but enough’s enough, you guys. The assignment of county convention delegates should not go down to uncertainty because of everyone’s failure to plan for the possibility that there might be an even number of humans in a room.

And look, I know that the media really rode the coin toss story hard. As Pat Rynard of Iowa Starting Line opined the morning after, “It was particularly disheartening to see the national media run wild with the coin flip story.” Well, you know, in our defense, we’re not the ones who came up with this whole coin toss nonsense. We’re not the ones who came up with any of this nonsense.