How Marco Rubio might win back us conservatives

I would be supporting you today except for the amnesty thing. There are a lot of Republicans like me. Here’s how you win us back.

First, quit the denial. You supported amnesty … stop what you are about to say. You are about to say, “But it wasn’t amnesty,” and saying that is going to set me off like Carlo denying he set up Sonny set off Michael Corleone. It insults our intelligence.

You have to answer for your dissembling about what the Gang of Eight wanted to do. Here’s a pro tip: When you go on Univision, remember that a lot of us speak Spanish and are onto the “Right in English, left in Español” game. You were not straight with us. You treated us like we were stupid, and the second you start trying to explain how we really didn’t understand and blah blah blah we will tune you right back out again.

Say this: “I wanted to try and find a compromise to solve the illegal immigration problem. I was too trusting of Chuck Schumer and the Democrats – a mistake I won’t make again – and I let myself become a salesman for what was essentially amnesty. I was wrong.”

Now that you have cleared the air about the past, you can move on to the future, because right now the old Immigration Trustmeter is in the red.