Caitlyn Jenner and the Orwellian birth of the new

It’s not enough to say “do what you feel like doing” and “I’m totally supportive of people finding true happiness”: you have to accept that this is the most important and transformative event of our time. Why else would the President and First Lady be Tweeting their support? Screw climate change, you bigot!

Now imagine you’re like the parents of that kid in British Columbia. You notice your Second Grader seems to prefer Barbie to GI Joe, and one day you caught him walking around in his big sister’s princess slippers. And maybe it’s just a phase, but the doctor and the school guidance counselor are all eager to get him transitioning. And deep down you’re not really on board with it, but you remember with that Olympics winner who’s something to do with the Kardashians how everyone jumped all over people who weren’t celebratory, even Snoop Dogg, who’s one mean muthaf**ker, but Big Gay still clubbed him to a pulp like he’s some weedy easy-listening lounge act, even when he wanted to talk about green energy, which is like the most pressing, urgent, important subject ever…

Except for Caitlyn, and her “bravery”.

It takes an awful lot to push back against that level of cultural enforcement.

What happened this week was a strange mix of Huxley and Orwell, Brave New World and 1984, hedonism and totalitarianism, sexual diversity and ruthless conformity in everything else – a stiletto heel stamping on a human face, forever.

Or until the mullahs take over.