Some of Ratner and Hamilton’s experiments had subjects trying to imagine themselves in certain situations—running errands, watching movies at home, going out to dinner—alone or with others, and forecasting how much they’d enjoy doing them. But the experiment that is the most telling compared subjects’ predictions to how the experiences actually played out. The researchers stopped 86 passers-by in a college’s student union—some of them recruited while walking alone, others in a group—and asked them to stroll through a nearby art gallery, but only after they’d predicted how much they’d enjoy it. Comparing those results to surveys after the trip, the researchers found that the solo gallery-goers predicted lower levels of enjoyment, even though they ended up enjoying the experience about as much as those who went with company.

The researchers determined that the main reason people didn’t think they’d enjoy themselves is that they were afraid other people would think they didn’t have any friends. (That effect was only present for public activities—watching a movie on the couch wasn’t considered less appealing when done alone, but going to a theater was.)

Another experiment revealed the irrationality at the core of this fear. The researchers found that individuals assume the judgments they receive for being alone are going to be much harsher than those they’d pass on others in the same situation. They thought they’d be seen as unusual, antisocial, and strange for going somewhere without friends, but said they wouldn’t attach these labels as strongly to someone they witnessed, say, sitting alone at a movie theater.