Despite what the Fox show “Empire” might lead you to believe, most black moms would not smack around our insolent offspring. We are, today, far more enlightened. And I can attest to the fact that, no matter how many whippings Mama laid on me, I still acted out. None of the welts stuck. But her words did. Lines like: “You better act like you’ve got some sense,” which was a gentle reminder to call on the wits the good Lord gave you. They echo in my ears, helping to make me a more confident mom of my own three children.

Certainly, white women have their mothers’ wisdom to fall back on, too. But nowadays too many have been manipulated into thinking that wisdom is something to be found in a book. So they read, research and hire coaches to teach them how to parent. As they parse the latest tips for “happiness,” oftentimes someone else is charged with raising their children. From slavery to today’s economic realities, that someone has usually been a black woman.

For some reason, we black moms command respect. It’s just one of many reasons I have always been happy with my life as a black woman. Depending on my mood, I can change my hairstyle from curly to straight and back again. I can tell someone to “back up off me” with just a glance. It takes a heap of embarrassment to make my face flush. But most important, as a mom I simply “know how.”