Why a Clinton-Bush presidential race fills me with nothing but despair

The inevitable Bush-Clinton presidential campaign is gathering itself along the horizon. It will be a boring, substance-less grind that turns on just which candidate’s operation can direct slightly more of the public’s disgust over the worst parts of the last two decades at the other candidate.

They’ll both say they are for the middle-class families. They are friends of small business and the little guy. They want border security and a path to citizenship. They want to put the social safety net on a secure footing, but keep taxes low. They want a strong assertive foreign policy that confronts our enemies but not with the costs of the Iraq War. Perhaps they’ll venture that they want to make health care better and cheaper. It will be like the presidential campaign of 2000. But darker…

I’m sure that cruel fate will cooperate with the necessary illusion that the Bush-Clinton choice matters much. Maybe Ruth Bader Ginsburg will develop a serious cough in August 2016. Or Vladimir Putin will start conducting military “exercises” along the border of Estonia. By September 2016, we’ll convince ourselves that the great fate of the nation is at stake and tune into our Apple watches for the latest attack ad. Maybe Jeb Bush will spend five figures on veterinary bills for his grief-stricken wife’s pet. If we’re really lucky Hillary Clinton will get a sext from a Clinton foundation-donor-slash-third-world-kleptocrat.