Could we stop the anti-vaxxers if we said measles contain gluten?

She leaves. Two hours later, she pops her head in the door and explains that, had she been infected with measles, the virus would still be alive on every surface in the room she’d touched and in the room’s airspace. “Nine out of 10 of those without immunity in this room would already be infected,” she says “And that ends my presentation.”

“They’ll just say they’re protecting their kids with kale and organic hand sanitizer,” a nutritionist on the board says with a sigh. “People put a lot of faith in raw food and lavender.”

An accountant, an immigration lawyer and a rabbi make an interesting joint presentation; many parents are requesting exemptions where vaccines are mandatory.

Getting these exceptions is a drag, as parent things can be, but it’s not unlike registering your child for a somewhat exclusive soccer league. And so they present their creation: Together they’ve crafted an exemption process so arduous it would make requesting an exemption the emotional and time-consuming equivalent of filing your taxes, earning your citizenship and converting to Judaism.

“You think this will discourage them?” a member of the board asks. “It’ll just give them more to blog about.” And the accountant, the immigration lawyer and the rabbi leave, disappointed, before walking into a bar.