Eight rules for Chris Christie and other pols who are sports fans

1) Never Be Seen Hugging Jerry Jones
This is the one that got Chris Christie in trouble last night. It’s actually totally awesome that Christie has the confidence to reject the teams his constituents root for (e.g. The Giants and The Eagles). That takes cojones and the way Christie leans into his awful sports allegiance would be admirable if we didn’t all suspect he was just trying to tap into a larger donor base or was doing it for some other political calculation.

But even if you’re going big with an unlikely allegiance, and even if you somehow decide to root for the — ugh — awful Dallas Cowboys for some unknowable reason, under no circumstances should you be caught on national television hugging notorious jackwagon Jerry Jones. This is something none of us can unsee. The fact that the establishment Republican elites have so lost interest in Christie that they’re making Jeb Bush (!) run in 2016 was bad news for Christie. But now normal people know he hugged Jerry Jones. Here are two quotes I read on Facebook last night: “You can either be president or you can jumpy-jump side hug the most hated man in football. Christie made his choice tonight.” And: “The belly rub is Christie’s Howard Dean ‘Yeeeeargh!’ moment.” It’s over.