Surprisingly, even when unmarried parents agree on a plan, judges can overrule it. For example, a judge may not like a complex joint custody schedule. If so, she can decide when the separated parents spend time with their children, even though they agreed otherwise.
This makes no sense. We may need judges to decide some divorce disputes. But when it comes to parenting, as much as possible, the law should treat unmarried people more like married people. Instead of telling parents how to bring up their children, we should honor — and encourage — agreements between parents.
We can do this with a very simple change in the law. When judges make decisions, they are guided by the “best interests of the child” — a list of factors like the parents’ mental health and the child’s wishes. States should add parental agreement to the list, and make it the primary consideration. This would mean that, at least when they agree, unmarried parents, not judges, make decisions about their children.
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