U.S. soccer fans should be rooting for the Dutch now

Like the Netherlands or not, I think you can legally claim victory in any case if we win. Your grandparents freed our grandparents 70 years ago, so without you guys there would be no Dutch team. We won’t forget that.

We sort of speak the same language. The Netherlands is practically Anglophone, but when we speak we mix in some throat clearing every other sentence to keep up the appearance of having our own language. Here are some quick language essentials that may come in handy with Dutch soccer: “Dat is geen duik” means “that’s not a dive.”

Just for your convenience, many Dutch soccer players come pre-packaged with easy-to-remember names like “Wesley,” “Nigel,” “Daley” and, of course, “Memphis.”