The good men are going away, because women tell them they aren’t needed. In fighting for “equal rights,” women forgot about the huge reservoir of power they’ve always had. Spending time shaming men who want to protect the life of unborn children is telling them to value neither women nor their children. To later lament that men have stopped stepping up only when it’s convenient for women is to ignore their complicity in developing a society that has told men to sit down and shut up. Whether men are supposed to “check their privilege” or nod their heads along to the daft idea of defying gender norms because “shut up” or remain silent when their own child is threatened, eviscerating their honor and protective instincts is leaving men rudderless and without ambition.

Men crave a protective role in women’s life. They want to be seen by a woman like they saw themselves as a boy: a protector, a savior, a hero. Women who refuse to cede this space to a man are doing so out of fear not confidence. Relationships are not a zero-sum game or reductive job description waiting for the perfect applicant. Even in this latest dust up over the confidence gap, it’s shown that it’s women who downgrade themselves — not men. Maybe it’s not just men listening when women are told to discount their power to bring life into the world, to consider it a hindrance, a weakness or source of shame warranting a violent act to remediate.