Correlation is not causation, but I wonder if, in a broad sense, the cultural message of pink princesses ultimately makes girls more receptive to stories in which traditional happy endings are impossible. Initially, many small girls really believe the princess story. They live and breathe it, plastic tiaras and all. What is this message that resonates with them? On a basic level, it is of course merely human to be attracted to youth, beauty, success, and happiness, as demonstrated by the friendly smile of the white-toothed heroine and opposed by the scowl of the witch. It is also the nature of a 3-year-old to believe that she is not only special but also probably the center of the universe, that she should be served by admiring retainers, that she is the best at everything, and that she should win the prize in every competition. The princess fantasy lures little girls in with shiny rhinestones and simultaneously tells them everything that they already believe. In a sense it is developmentally appropriate. However, the job of adults is not merely to mirror children back to themselves. Our job is to help them mature and grow beyond the narcissism of babyhood.
Adults are supposed to teach small children that the old, the ugly, the sick and handicapped, and even the grieving are human beings, just as fallible, and just as important, as pretty young maidens. We are supposed to help them see that they are not the center of the universe, but that this is OK, because their value does not depend on being any prettier, smarter, or more “special” than anyone else. We need to prepare them for the realization that most of us are just peasants without a single retainer, but that there is quite a bit of romance to the life of an ordinary peasant, after all. If we prepare them properly, real life won’t hit them like quite such a load of bricks.
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