European women have only a 55.8 percent chance of being alive five years after being diagnosed with any type of cancer, compared to 62.9 percent of American women.

American survival rates for breast, prostate, thyroid and skin cancer are higher than 90 percent. Europeans do not have a 90 percent survival rate for one of those cancers.

The European rates are even worse than they sound because many cancers are not discovered until the victim’s death — twice as many as in the U.S. All those cancers were excluded from the study.

Canadian cancer survival rates aren’t much better than the European rates — and they’ve been able to sneak into to the U.S. for treatment! Women in the U.S. have a 61 percent survival rate for all cancers, compared to a 58 percent survival rate in Canada. Men in the U.S. have a 57 percent survival rate compared to 53 percent in Canada.

That’s why your insurance premiums have to go through the roof and your Obamacare tax is the same as Bill Gates’. So across the world, we’ll all be equal, dying of cancer, heart disease and diabetes as often as everyone else.