Global warming devastates America

See that white stuff floating down past the orange trees and landing on your alligators and manatees, Florida? That’s global warming, that is.

See that frozen white thing by the harbor that used to look a green woman with a spiky headdress, New York? That’s global warming, that is.

See that chilling solid yellow stream extending upwards from the snowy ground to your shrivelling blackened member after you made the very wrong call to take an al fresco leak, Chicagoans? That’s global warming, that is.

How do we know this? Because Bryan Walsh of Time magazine says so…