A nationally representative survey I commissioned of 2,450 Americans in 2010 found that 43% of interfaith families prefer to raise their children in one faith and 35% in no faith. About 22% said they were trying to raise children in two faiths. I also interviewed dozens of interfaith families, and most parents said they thought it was either “unfair” or “confusing” to raise kids in two faiths.
The families that chose one faith tried not to cut the nonmember parent off from his or her religious traditions. They would often explain this to their children with “the birthday analogy”: You can join a birthday celebration even if that’s not the day you were born, just as you can help mom or dad celebrate Christmas even if it’s not the whole family’s holiday.
But many parents were willing to pull back from their own religious communities to make things easier for children. Even if these parents didn’t share their spouse’s faith, they believed that raising their children with one religion would be best for their families.
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