Dude

He had the means and the opportunity, but we may never know the motive of an 11-year-old student who urinated on a couple dozen laptops left unattended at Upper Allen Township Elementary in Pennsylvania.

In a report now bemusing Mac fan forums across the Internet, the Upper Allen Township Police Department states that “the cart and computers were damaged beyond repair, resulting in the loss of over $36,000.”

The cart in question contained approximately 30 school-owned MacBooks, according to a police department spokesperson I spoke to, who couldn’t tell me why the kid did it — let alone how. Because, c’mon — 30 MacBooks, even stacked, make for a formidable amount of square footage to cover, especially for a kid.