To those demanding my apology, I say: That’s nacho place. I flauta your demands. In the chimichanga wars, I will taco no prisoners — and that’s for churro.

The line in question, at the end of a column about how Republicans are alienating Hispanic voters, was inspired by a debate on the Senate floor over the first Cuban-American nominated to the 11th U.S Circuit Court of Appeals. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) was stalling the vote, and his fellow Republicans refused to fight him. Instead, Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) gave a speech about his home state, where, he claimed, “it’s believed that the chimichanga has its origin.” From a party that had offered Latinos so little, the mention of the chimichanga during a confirmation debate was an apt juxtaposition.

The spat over the fried burrito gets at one of the most annoying components of our decaying political culture: false umbrage. Liberals created this form of identity politics, in which an underrepresented group claims persecution, but conservatives have embraced it. One of its most common expressions is the demand for an apology. It’s phony by definition — an apology can’t be sincere if it’s answering a demand — and the reflexive demand (like a demand for a resignation) serves only as an excuse to keep a news story alive. Sorry, but it’s time to put this tired gimmick to rest.