"At least my harshest critics can agree I have a promising future -- as an Al Green impersonator"

It is great to be here tonight, because I have about 45 more minutes on the State of the Union that I’d like to deliver tonight…

And Speaker (John) Boehner, it is good to see you at the head table. I know how badly Eric Cantor wanted your seat. But, John, I want you to know: I am eager to work with members of Congress to be entertaining tonight. But if Congress is unwilling to cooperate, I will be funny without them.

I’d like to acknowledge a very good friend of mine — Warren Buffet’s secretary’s boss is in the house.