They require a license to drive, but to parent ...

No, I’m not going to get all statist and start demanding that the government approve people for reproduction … but sometimes that option doesn’t sound all bad.  Plenty of parents hang atrocious names on their offspring, cursing them for life, but Heath and Deborah Campbell really take the cake.  Well, not literally, which is why this Nazi admirer got headlines this morning on the wire services (via Cristy Li):

The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.

“I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they’ve been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past,” Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted in Easton, on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.

“There’s a new president and he says it’s time for a change; well, then it’s time for a change,” the 35-year-old continued. “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did.”

I’m sorry — did the man who named his child after one of the worst genocidal madmen of history demand tolerance?  Campbell walks around in authentic Nazi boots and decorates his house with swastikas, and then demands that people be tolerant of his intolerance.  It sounds like a Monty Python skit: No one expects the Nazi Tolerance Inquisition!

And by the way, it wasn’t just the name, either:

Karen Meleta, a spokeswoman for ShopRite, said the Campbells had similar requests denied at the same store the last two years and said Heath Campbell previously had asked for a swastika to be included in the decoration.

You know, nothing says Happy Birthday to a toddler like a big ol’ swastika in the middle of a birthday cake.

And why did these parents lay an Adolf on their child?  I mean, besides all of the Nazi worship going on in Chez Campbell?  Because “no one else in the world would have that name.”  No kidding.  Ever wonder why, genius?

Greenwich ShopRite is not a government agency, and they don’t have to do business with the Campbells if they choose to refuse them.  It’s not intolerance — it’s a business decision.  Campbell could protest it and try to start a boycott, but something tells me that ShopRite’s customers might feel better knowing that the goose-stepping Campbells won’t be anywhere in the vicinity.