It is hard for me to put into words how pathetically silly I find the requests of college and post-grad students to postpone exams because of the “trauma” they experienced due to Grand Jury decisions in the national news. It is even harder to express how pathetic and silly it is that college and law school officials are bending to the requests of these “traumatized” students.

Look, if a family member dies during exam week or you’re literally unable to move from your bed because of the influenza (and even that excuse is a little overdone, so it should be viewed with a jaundiced eye by professors), fine. Depending on the professor, you’re likely to get some leeway since they’ve been teaching 15 years’ worth of Millennials already. However, if you wish to continue protesting a Grand Jury decision you find disturbing and find yourself emotionally and physically incapable of taking an exam, just suck it up and miss the exam and accept what you get for it. I’m sure your future employer at a public interest law firm or social justice non-profit that works only when things are going perfectly swimmingly in the news will find that charming, if you can find that employer.

But you’re more likely to find a regular employer who may find that disqualifying. And, I’d suggest it might be more disqualifying for social justice-y jobs than regular employment. You know, because social justice warriors who would like to be employed as social justice warriors should probably show an ability to do work while observing what they see as social injustice. That’s pretty much the entire job description.

Thus far, Columbia Law School has postponed some exams for students who wish to be lawyers to process this common legal function of American society. Harvard and Georgetown are considering requests.

But it all stops with Oberlin. Oberlin, for God’s sake. You’ve lost Oberlin, Millennials, and there is one hero professor there who has an answer worthy of your angst. In an e-mail exchange made public by Oberlin student and perfect hyphenate Della Kurzer-Zlotnik (with a trigger warning, I’m not kidding!), Kurzer-Zlotnik has a LOT to say on the behalf of minority students and whether they’re in a place to take finals. Professor Michael Raney, on the other hand, has very little to say.

This is a preview pic, with Raney’s answer and a hint of what’s in the student’s e-mail. Please click through to Elizabeth Nolan Brown as a thank you for bringing the whole, magnificent, hope-filled thing to our attention.

-della-kurzer-zlotnickfacebook blur

There seems to be precious little wiggle room in the Oberlin official policy, so maybe this will stick. Michelle Malkin, boss emeritus, rightly notes this is, of course, a visiting Oberlin professor.

Noah properly dismantled and mocked a Harvard student’s request for the same today. He is more thorough than Raney, and both responses are perfect in their own way. You doubt me?

“Cups of endurance?” Good lord. Do they runneth over into your “saucer of fortitude?” Mayhaps a few of those errant droplets are captured by your “doily of grit.”

These are allegedly the best and brightest our country has to offer.