In England, the city of Brighton and Hove is making history in terms of political correctness. Parents of children preparing to enter the school system received a letter informing them that they needed to be cautious when filling out their child’s registration forms and not rush into anything complicated like identifying whether they were boys or girls. You see, that’s a really complicated question these days and you need to help your children “pick” which gender they want to be. And no… I’m not even kidding. (Mashable)

A city council has sent a letter to thousands of parents asking them to support the gender their children “most identify with” when confirming school places.

The letter, sent this week, requested that parents help their children “choose” their gender identity, asking them to leave the gender section of the form blank if their child is non-binary.

“We recognise that not all children and young people identify with the gender they were assigned at birth or may identify as a gender other than male or female, however the current systems (set nationally) only record gender as male or female,” read the letter.

“Please support your child to choose the gender they most identify with.”

If this were a television show, this is the moment where I would insert the comical sound effect of a needle scratching over a record. There are more things wrong in those few paragraphs than one could readily enumerate, but on a second read I found one which truly stands out. Let’s go back to the third paragraph again.

… or may identify as a gender other than male or female…

Other than male or female? How many others are there supposed to be? Oh, wait… here we go. The answer is apparently 23. The choices include, “tri-gender”, “gender fluid” and “genderqueer”.

Keep in mind that we’re talking about four year old children here. Would anyone care to hazard a guess as to what “tri-gender” means in a species where only two chromosomal options are available? Just because I’m a nice guy and don’t want to subject all of you to this horror show any more than need be, I took the time to look some of this up. (And you don’t even want the links where some of this comes from in your browser history. You can thank me later.)

Trigender is a gender identity which can be literally translated as ‘three genders’ or ‘triple gender’. Trigender people experience exactly three gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between them. These three gender identities can be male, female and/or any non-binary identities.

Genderqueer: denoting or relating to a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.

Well… we certainly wouldn’t want to impinge on anyone’s non-binary identity, would we? Look… these are kindergarten aged children. If they’re at the point where they’re fretting over whether or not they are Trigender before they find out where the sandbox is at school there is a much bigger problem to be tackled and it involves calling Child Protective Services and getting them out of whatever warped, psychotic madhouse they are trapped in at home.

But that’s apparently the reality of the 21st century, my friends, and it’s spreading quickly in the United States as well. As for me, I’ve just finished filling out my application for the Mars One project. I’ll send you a photo from the red planet before I peacefully and gratefully run out of oxygen.