If only there had been some sign, some clue, that Epstein had been suicidal. Besides the fact that he’d tried to kill himself recently once before, I mean.

Oh, and the fact that he had his lawyers bring him a will to sign 48 hours before he hanged himself.

Besides those, I mean.

And so a case already littered with mysteries faces the most momentous mystery of all: Who’s the new lucky owner of a painting of Bill Clinton in a dress?

Jeffrey Epstein’s will has been filed in the US Virgin Islands, and it shows that he signed it Aug. 8 — two days before he hanged himself in his Manhattan jail cell, according to court papers exclusively obtained by The Post on Monday…

The former hedge-fund manager put all of his holdings in a trust, called The 1953 Trust in court papers, after the year he was born…

There are no details on the trust’s beneficiaries. The court papers note that Epstein’s only potential heir was his brother, Mark Epstein. But the will adds that Mark only had a claim to his brother’s extensive holdings if Jeffrey hadn’t left behind the document.

This may be the strongest evidence yet that his death really was a suicide. How many people outside his legal team even knew that he’d signed a new will shortly before his death? Do the beneficiaries of his “1953 Trust” even know that they’re beneficiaries? The will is proof, in case the previous suicide attempt wasn’t enough, that Epstein was thinking about death in the small window of time before his demise. You can still maintain a murder theory here if you like — “He knew he was being targeted for assassination and wanted his affairs in order” — but the timing is quite a coinkydink.

Occam’s Razor: He was preparing to check out.

It makes me wonder whether his lawyers knew, or at least suspected, that he was planning to off himself. To hear them tell it the answer is no, that Epstein allegedly went as far as to say “I’ll see you Sunday” to one during their final meeting. But a previous suicide attempt *and* a request for a revised will are big clues to overlook, and he’d have an obvious incentive to pretend to be in good spirits (“see you Sunday”) if he was intent on killing himself, namely, avoiding giving MCC a reason to put him back on suicide watch. According to the Times, his mental state had deteriorated somewhat in the days before his death:

But in his final days, Mr. Epstein’s efforts to lessen the misery of incarceration seemed to be faltering.

He was seldom bathing, his hair and beard were unkempt and he was sleeping on the floor of his cell instead of on his bunk bed, according to people at the jail.

The wing he was in is known for being infested with roaches and rats “and inmates often have to navigate standing water — as well as urine and fecal matter — that spills from faulty plumbing.” He was sufficiently afraid of being attacked by other inmates that he was reportedly paying protection money to multiple people by placing funds in several prisoners’ commissary accounts. As for how he might have known that the coast was clear for a new suicide attempt:

Mr. Epstein was housed in one of a handful of cells in 9 South where inmates could peer out of their small windows and down onto the staff members stationed at the guard desk, according to a prison official. He might have been able to see whether the guards were asleep, the official said.

I continue to find it hard to explain why a guy who had eluded serious criminal trouble for decades and was litigating the question of whether his previous plea deal with the feds barred a second prosecution would give up in the earliest stages of this legal battle, but maybe Epstein’s lawyers had a hard reality check with him at some point. E.g., “Jeff, we’re going to lose on this double jeopardy matter. And there won’t be any sweetheart deal this time. The public’s in a frenzy. Even if you have information on other high-profile predators, they can never let you out as part of a deal.” Maybe Epstein digested that, realized that he’d spend the rest of his life in fear of being killed by an inmate, and the weight of it coupled with the dreary conditions of his incarceration finally made him snap.

In any case, I will shed no tears. In lieu of an exit question, read this other story at the New York Post today about a “birthday gift” Epstein once received from a buddy in France, according to Virginia Giuffre. Can you guess what it is?